Conditions
by Neon Dawn
Summary: SasuSaku; NaruIno "What do you mean, 'What's in it for you' I just asked you to marry me!"


_**DEDICATION!!!** To my dear, Hugh Jackman. I'm sorry I doubted your sexiness.  
__**PROMPT!!! **Marrige, "What's in it for me?"  
**DISCLAIMER!!! **I do not own any life form/character other than my own... which is very suckish at the moment please leave a message after the beep.  
__**PAIRINGS!!! **SasuSaku, NaruIno, Implied SasuIno, NejiSaku, LeeSaku, GaaSaku, ShinoSaku, KibaSaku, ChoSaku, ShikaSaku.  
**MUSIC!!! **"The Call," --Regina Spector  
__**INSPIRATION!!! **My Romantic Comedy Weekend. Australia (I LOVE YOU, DROVER!!!), Twilight (the acting seems to get worse with every viewing), and Fools Gold.  
**SUMMARY!!! **"What do you mean, 'What's in it for you'?! I just asked you to marry me!!"  
**WARNINGS!!! **slight language, OC!SASUKE  
**AUTHOR!!!** ((i. break. dawn)) without the spaces... but my computer keeps deleting everything but keeping .dawn. so let's see if THIS works!_

_**PEOPLE!!! **Sakura!italics, _**Sasuke!bold**_,_ Ino!underlined_,_ Naruto!plain_,_ _**Others!italic/bold**._

_**Conditions**_

**

* * *

**

_"What's in it for me?"_

**"What do you mean, 'What's in it for you,'?! I just asked you to marry me!"**

"_Duh, but seriously, Sasuke-kun. What are you promising?"_

**"Love?"**

_"Love?! Is that a question?! Kami, you're so emotionally handicapped, Sasuke!"_

**"Sex."**

_"Good?"_

**"Amazing."**

_"Anything else?"_

**"PDA."**

_"Tons?"_

**"Boat loads."**

_"...?"_

**"Free food and hospitality."**

_"Nice house?"_

**"Wonderful mansion."**

_"Will there be any affairs on your part?"_

**"None."**

_"Children?"_

**"I've got to rebuild the clan someday."**

_"Jewelry?"_

**"I'll treat you like a princess."**

_"Make it godess and you've got yourself a deal."_

**"What about love?"**

_"What about it?"_

**"Sakura! There's gotta be love!"**

_"But Sasuke-kun! What if there isn't any?!"_

**"Then I guess I can't marry you."**

_"No! Don't leave me!"_

**"I have to. You can't show me love."**

"I can."

**"Ino."**

_"INO-PIG!! You bitch! He's mine!"_

"You don't love him the way I do. You're just a little girl, Sakura. You've got nothing on a real women."

**"I can't disagree with that."**

_"I can! Sasuke! I do love you! I love you with all my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye!"_

**"But you're such high maintenence. You need so much!"**

_"No I don't! All we need is each other. I don't need any clothes or jewelry or PDA; just you."_

**"Well this changes everything!"**

_"Duh."_

"Whatever. I'll be back."

_"Not in this lifetime."_

**"Prove it."**

_"Prove what?"_

**"That you love me."**

_"Didn't I just do that?!"_

**"You're not allowed to speak to Kiba."**

_"But...!"_

**"No hugging Lee."**

_"I...!"_

**"Drop the friendship with Shino."**

_"That's...!"_

**"No training with Neji."**

_"Is that...!?"_

**"No more Shoji with Shikamaru."**

"_Anything else?"_

**"No meeting Gaara for lunch."**

_"And...?"_

**"AND! No cooking with Choji."**

_"No way. Why not?!"_

**"How can you be so blind?!"**

_"Blind to what?"_

**"He is falsely crushing on you."**

_"Falsely?"_

**"You're mine."**

_"Oh..."_

**"So?"**

_"Does this mean...?"_

**_"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."_**

_"Awesome! I...mhljmsdfgrthhm."_

"FINALLY!!"

"Yeah, seriously! You two have been debating this elopement for hours!"

_"Hpmph! Whatever, pig!"_

**"Hn."**

**_"Will the witnesses please stand?"_**

"HELL YEAH!!! ...OW!"

"BAKA!! No swearing in a church!!"

**_"State your names."_**

"Uzumaki Naruto! Dattlebayo!!"

"Yamanaka Ino."

**_"Congradulations. You two have just witnessed the conjoining of Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura."_**

_"Shannanaro!!"_

**"Aa."**

"Gross! Teme and Sakura-chan!"

_"Shut your face, now, Naruto!"_

**"Dobe."**

"Bastard!"

**"Deadlast."**

_"SHUT UP!!! BOTH OF YOU!!"_

"She's got you whipped, Sasuke."

**"No!"**

"TEMES SAKURA-CHANS BITCH!!!"

_**"Come back soon!"**_

_"Okay then..."_

"...What?"

**"...?"**

"DUH!!! Naruto and I gotta get married too, ya know!!"

"WE DO?!"

"HELL YEAH!!"

**_THE END_**


End file.
